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Won’t be coming from me!

The only good part of Paa? Vidya Balan finally dressed/made up appropriately. Not since her debut film has she looked this good, finally in clothes that fit and make up that actually suits her. Woman needs to hold on to this stylist!

I never for one moment felt for Auro. I have a deep interest in progeria, medically and humanistically. I feel for these children afflicted with this terrible condition, and watching what I can only describe as a horrible parody of progeria-afflicted children was torturing. Never for one moment did I believe in the 6 ft tall ridiculously made up character, and the voice and the insane dialogues seriously irritated the hell out of me. What kind of 12 year old says “unnecessary sacrifices” to his mother so cheekily? The character could have used a nice tight slap. I know very well why Balki could not cast a kid to play the role…that would interfere with his plans of Bachchan puja…but I wish someone would give him a tight slap too. (These points better covered here)

The movie inadvertently produced plenty of mirth, mostly because I was watching it with my family (and we were all in a good mood). A particular scene we watched and rewatched and then rewatched again, till our sides were splitting. This is part of the “emotional” ending (which wins over Kal Ho Naa Ho for inane dragginess and awful emoting) when the little girl finally gives Auro the sorry chart and apologizes. The flashback shown at that point…wow. If there was a yt clip I’d save it to watch in a loop on my bad days. The kid literally prances down an empty hallways, “la-la-la-ing,” on her first day of school, and a 6 ft tall Bachchan suddenly appears at the corridor, and she goes screaming down. I can’t do it justice, you have to watch it on a bootlegged version! Balki’s finest work! Truth be told, I felt for the little girl, because any Bachchan appearing from behind any corridor, especially without makeup, would scare the bejeezus out of me.

And my yearly awards start off with Creepiest Song of the Year, awarded to Paa, for the freaking weirdest, creepiest, hilarious, and at the same time spine-chilling song of the year, played in the very last scene. “Meri Maa Ab Teri Hai Mere Paa…”

All you need for a nightmare!

I’ll say one last thing: maybe 5 years ago I would have watched this movie in a less harsh light, maybe I’d have given it more of a chance to impress me, maybe I’d look for things that were good. But when the standard of cinema in India is improving, slowly but surely, then this just won’t do. Why drag it back down?

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